Friends

When you get out of bed in the morning, you never think of the day becoming a significant, unforgettable moment in time. But occasionally, they do turn into that. Twenty years ago today turned out to be one of those days.

On this day in 1993, we lost a very dear friend. Though he was a year ahead of me in school, he was just six months older. We'd grown up just a couple of miles apart, in a neighborhood that was generally very close. He had just turned 41, which in my humble opinion was much too young.

This friend was a friend to everyone. He had one of those magnetic, ornery personalities that everyone loved. He could tease you to the point of wanting to strangle him, but have you laughing at the same time. And you could always count on him when you needed a lift.

I have so many memories of him over the years growing up. I can't remember anyone ever saying an unkind word about him. He had such an ornery laugh. He just loved to tease and stir things up. He was a good student and an even better athlete. He was an ace left-handed softball pitcher, and I remember him scoring a very high number of points in a basketball game.

In September when I was in 8^th grade, I lost my paternal grandfather (and had just lost my maternal grandfather that previous June). I remember so plainly getting on the bus that Friday morning. Our bus driver, who also lived in the neighborhood and knew all our families well, asked me as I climbed the bus steps how my grandfather was. I felt bad having to tell the well-meaning driver that Grandpa had passed away that morning. He felt like a heel for asking me. The bus was very quiet for awhile, with no one knowing what to say. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and this dear friend said nothing but handed me a peppermint candy. And at the time, it was just the right thing!

I think it was the next night, during visitation for Grandpa, that he and my cousin gave me a break from the funeral home for a few minutes by getting me over to the local restaurant for a couple of games of pinball.

Even after graduation, we kept in contact because we went to college together. He lived off campus, so we didn't see each other much. But occasionally he'd look me up and ask if he could buy me a coke – we would always end up in a corner of the Student Union, having a long talk. I was glad he knew he could talk to me about his frustrations.

I saw him a few times over the years until his death. He always had a smile and kind words to say. He went back to live in our childhood neighborhood, so I kept up with him through my Mom's letters.

In a very weird way, his passing set in motion the transition from the first 20 years of my adult life to Chapter 2......which has been a much happier place. When Mom called to tell me he was gone, she also told me there was a job opening at the local hospital – doing exactly what I was doing in the job I had at the time. I was able to interview for and get that job, and the kids and I moved back home to Carroll County.

I think it's fair to say we all still miss him - I still stop by and tell him hello when I go to the cemetery.